I was at a coffee shop last week sitting at one of those large community tables that seats ten. Across from me a young woman was reading peacefully when her friend walked up and sat down next to her. Her friend asked, “How was your date last night? The young woman answered, “It was okay… I don’t know, I think I just want to be friends, and I wonder if I should go out with him again?”
Let the ping pong game begin.
I found myself exhausted in listening, and I couldn’t help but chuckle inside as I listened to their conversation because I have been there, done that — asking friends’ for advice, pondering their advice, wondering if I should listen to their advice. Generally more dazed and confused after talking it to death, still no closer to the kind of relationship I truly longed for.
As I watched this conversation go back and forth for about 10 minutes, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I put my computer down and introduced myself, “Hi I’m a dating workshop facilitator, may I interrupt and ask you a question?” They looked startled but said, “Sure, please do.” I looked the young lady in the eye who had been on the date the night before and simply asked: “If you followed your heart, trusted your instincts and honored yourself, what would you do?”
When I was asked to write a blog on what the Real World Dating Dynamics workshop is about I didn’t know where to start, so I thought to myself, I’ll start backwards which is what the workshop is NOT. It’s not a dating service, some of you may be thinking, ”phew, thank goodness, some of you may be thinking, darn!” and yes most participants are single or just started dating. It’s NOT tips, tricks or strategies, haven’t we heard enough of those. How is that working in the dating world? I don’t know about you, but it can get confusing and even paralyzing. Sometimes it feels like we are dating like it’s the 1960’s, 1980’s or even 2009 or by The Rules?? Enough!
I almost stopped dating because I just thought I must not be doing this right, and I’m so glad I didn’t because I met the most amazing man several months ago, and would have missed out on the type of mind, body and spirit connection that was once just a dream and now something I wouldn’t trade for anything. This is possible for you!
The second part, and I’m sure what you are waiting for is…what is the workshop then? This workshop is an engaging opportunity to look inside yourself for the answer, yes I hate to break the news to you, no one else has the answers but You. You learn how to be able to follow your heart, trust your instincts and honor yourself, which honors others in the process. How many times have you asked your mom, sister, friend or coworker for the answer to your dating situation? What did you get but their opinion! Are you ready to listen and trust yourself and be fulfilled?
Have you ever been on first date or any date for that matter and the conversation gets stale and boring? What if you had tools that can make any date great and fun whether you see that person again or not? We will do some work on your Greatness, and you will also be able to bring it out in another, which gives you the power to be the source of your dating experience! It makes dating much more fun versus hard work and nerve racking. Are you ready for dating to be fun with anyone?
Just like needing food and water, we all have needs in the world of dating and relationships, in the workshop we will do work around your needs. No more fuzzy! Fuzzy and confusion makes us doubtful and nutty. Are you ready to get clear about what you are looking for and what you need?
At the end of the workshop, you will create a whole new destiny for dating, the opposite sex, relationships and love to empower you to find your match easier and wiser. Watch your confidence and fulfillment level will skyrocket!
Real World Dating Dynamics is revolutionizing dating and communicating so you can produce unimaginable results in the area of dating and relationships.
If you are interested in this type of workshop, please visit www.firstbaseandbeyond.com
Excellent news! We are continually talking with people about singles and dating. It just so happens that after reviewing the web site First Base and Beyond we fell in love ourselves. What do you do when you fall in love? Well, of course you reach out and touch someone. In this case we were able to get into contact with Suzanne Muller, the Founder of First Base and Beyond. She has now agreed to write for us.
Suzanne is committed that people are able to listen and communicate with the opposite gender in a safe environment and people learn how to follow their heart, trust their instincts and honor themselves and others in the process. In addition, she wants you to experience fun and fulfillment in dating, and to know that an Awesome, Authentic and Extraordinary relationship is possible! She has produced extraordinary results for herself and others, and has never looked back from creating a magnificent life full of love, peace, happiness and authentic communication. When you are around Suzanne, you are in the presence of love and can feel a level of energy and inspiration that makes you want to achieve your greatest potential, and if you are committed she makes sure of it!
Suzanne is a coach at heart. For more than 4 years Suzanne has brought her vulnerability, lessons learned, love and openness to the conversation. She has coached people to produce breakthrough results, be fully self expressed, and dreams fulfilled through her loving yet intentional coaching and communication style! Suzanne’s promise is to leave you empowered, enlivened with yourself and open to trying new things in the dating world!
So, welcome Suzanne and begin looking for her posts soon!
I just met with an incredible woman who is the owner, facilitator, and coach for her company called First Base and Beyond. Suzanne Muller has a different look on the dating that I hadn’t hear before, but is something I believe and that is being honest and having dates that are fabulous.
Well that sounded interesting, so I asked her to tell me more. She said that many of the people she coaches have pre-determined ideas about what a data is and looks like. To her it is all about you. How can you create this date so that it works for you. Part of it is determining what you want and asking for it. “Be honest with yourself and what you want” she says. What an interesting concept I said, dripping with sarcasm, but she proceeded to inform me how often people lie to themselves.
People are so interested in trying to please the other person that they don’t communicate up front their needs, wants, and desires.
Try it next time you are ready to go out on a date. Let the person know who you are and ask for what you want. See what happens.
As the Relationship Expert going through a divorce, I was about to become my own muse. Or at least my own guinea pig (although muse sounds so much cooler). So with no attachment and nothing to lose, I began my “research.” I decided I would own who I am, and people could take it leave it, but my days of losing myself in an effort to accommodate others were over. This was my chance to take ego out of it. “You’re not a good fit for everyone”, I would remind myself. “You’re not supposed to be. Not everyone likes chocolate. That doesn’t make chocolate bad”. Wait, huh?! Did she say, not everybody likes chocolate?
This was one of the most valuable lessons I had ever learned. And while it all began with dating, it’s applicable in EVERY area of life. No longer willing to pretend to know sports, love to cook, or enjoy working-out, I was ready to authentically represent myself in all my flawed and fabulous glory. This new ability was accessed somewhat by accident at first. I was newly single after 16 years of marriage and just too distracted and busy to learn the game.
Now, that doesn’t mean I didn’t have concerns. Oh, I had concerns. What if I’ve lost my retail value and been downgraded to resell? What if people just aren’t looking for what I’m pitching? What are people looking for anyway? And what am I pitching? The questions swirled in my head like a cyclone. I was a losing confidence altitude faster than I could recover. “Wait! I can do this. I can give up trying to win everyone over in favor of owning who I am and accepting that it’s not going to blow everyone’s hair back”.
So with a minor shift in priority, I was able to present myself to the world as unabashedly real! And it turns out…that’s kinda hot. Or at least refreshing and worse case, it’s living authentically and that’s worth everything! Think it’s worth trying on? I invite you to shed the need to look good in favor of bearing who you really are. I suspect what you’ll find is that people fall in love with your vulnerability. And sometimes, it even gives them permission to be real! Authenticity is contagious…go spread it around some.
Yes, inquiring minds want to know what makes you tick when it comes to dating. There are many sites out there that support some level of effort around internet dating, but what do you think of them? Are there areas for improvement? What do you think about mobile dating sites? We want to know that too.
We are continuously researching available data and talking with singles in order to understand better how they interact. In the mean time there is information that is not available anywhere, so we would like you to take this anonymous survey to help us find out. The benefit to you is that we will begin to get some insights into how other singles think and ultimately help you to discover yourself and other people.
Thanks in advance.
Elaina McMillan has agreed to be a part of FriendEQ. This steamy and sexy talk show host is taking on a role here at FriendEQ by writing columns in her standard fun and witty style. Yes, you read correctly, this dynamic woman who formerly ran the radio Sex and Intimacy radio show will come to you from time to time to bring her special style of advice directly to you.
Elaina is one of those special people who is doing more than her fair share to help people in the dating world. When she is not writing for FriendEQ she is hosting radio shows, writing books, and running seminars.
Her soon to be released book is called Confessions of a Frigid Wife, Coming Clean About Getting Dirty a humorous look at how to break out of the pattens that have held us back from being fully self-expressed in life and love.
You can also catch her on 101.5 FM in Denver with her show called The Truth. Elaina is not afraid to explore all the areas that many are afraid to talk about and she does it in a way that is humorous and with heart.
Have a question for Elaina then send it to advice@FriendEQ.com to find our what her advice will be.
Welcome to FriendEQ!
This site over time will be dedicated to helping people connect. These connections can either be romantic or just friends. That is up to you, but we are continuously doing research on what people want out of relationships and we will let you know what we find out.
We will also be developing some tools to help, so keep in touch!